Saturday, May 15, 2004


I had a dream about a party I had about (scarily enough) 10 years ago. The dream wasn’t very eventful; we were just dancing and having BBQ as we did those many years ago—it was just a repeat performance.

On waking, I recalled all the RSVPs that arrived, and that only ½ or so of those people who confirmed attendance attended. While I initially thought it was a scathing commentary, akin to one of those big cosmic jokes that the universe plays on me, I soon realized that it’s just how things are done in the US. Nothing more, nothing less. It just required a little cultural adjustment. My friend KD grew up overseas and made the same remark at a garden party a few years ago. She still lives in the world where business deals and contracts are awarded or not based on the seating at a party, let alone failure to carry out a RSVP. We understand each other perfectly in that way--which is why 97% of my friends hate her. She was late, of course, but we knew that was going to happen.

I arranged a surprise b-day party for my friend in college. I coordinated it with several people—and most of these coordinators did not attend! I didn’t know, (my mistake), that they had grievances with the guest of honour, therefore couldn’t go. But if they were too magnanimously polite to tell me *that*, they sure as WOA-ugly-people-walk-the-earth forgot their manners après avoir réponder. There were also RSVPs from people who did not attend either.

Of course there’s no problem if someone is on a death bed or attending another death bed. But the current state is pretty deplorable. There should be a new RSVP in America; perhaps a SQHDM. SemiQuasiHemiDemiMaybe. With a 1/64th confirmation, I would not be surprised at any outcome.


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