Monday, May 16, 2005

Turning my back on New York.

Well. There has been a bit of a bidding war going on between the NY and the Chi office for me. That’s kinda exciting. However, doesn’t make much difference to me; I’m just kinda chillin’. The first offer for NY was a little on the low side. I’ll see what happens. I’m not sure I’m allowed to give up on Chicago yet. But we’ll see. I can’t go to NY and be poverty. I’ve been doing that here for too long. Mom says that fate has a hand in this, so be patient and trust fate to be kind. So we shall see.

Went to my masseuse yesterday, and got shaved. That was pretty interesting. Not nearly as exciting as I thought it would be, but definitely interesting.

The maintenance man just arrived to look at my broken plumbing. He fiddled around and decided he needed to get more parts. Well, showing up at 7:30 pm is better than not, I guess. He claims he had an erratic day. Join the club, sister.

In re: salary and those sorts of things; I don’t want to be entitled at all, but honestly, when you’re earning the amount of money I am for the company I kinda feel compelled to say, “Um, I’m more valuable than that.”

But everyone is a cog in an anonymous wheel and no one really cares. So, there’s the answer. But I’m not living in NYC for that low amount. Not that I don’t think I could; I just don’t want to.

I’ve half made up my mind to stay in Chicago anyway. I don’t want to make it seem like a big deal. What can NYC teach me that I don’t already know? Cities are dirty? Ok go to Bangkok. Cities are crowded? Oh I *so* don’t think they’ve lived in Beijing. Cities are glamorous? Try Paris and Singapore. NYC can’t teach me shit I haven’t learned already.

Life sucks? Been there. Life is hard? Done that. Being poor sucks? Yep, I know that.

Yeah. I think going to NYC would be wrong. It’s almost karmic; something about it isn’t feeling right anymore.

In re: diversity; well, I’ll never fit in anywhere, so why bother trying.

I need a martini.

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