Tuesday, May 17, 2005


Rejected the NYC offer. The first time I rejected it I said more money. They came back with another offer. It was identical, but guaranteed minimum bonus. That was a big warning flag; if they have to guarantee minimum bonus, then they’re not expecting anyone to have a bonus. So fuck that. So that’s all done.

Told my boss after the discussion that I am remaining in Chicago. Oddly, I didn’t feel very happy or excited that I was staying; instead I just felt depressed, like sinking into a rut or realizing that the gorgeous sexy won’t be mine. Undervalued.

Yep, that’s essentially what it is; feeling undervalued. So whatever. The only problem is that I have absolutely no idea how to go about feeling over valued. So now I have to wait it out. I’m going to have to make an apperntment with the resume writing service and get more resumes done up. Then, off on another e-mailing blitz campaign. Sucks, though, seriously; I have no idea what to write or indicate in my resumes. Fuck it. It’s so abhorrently discouraging. Nothing like feeling abysmally undervalued to make yourself feel good…

Vaguely considered getting a paralegal certificate. Not sure what that would do. But it might help. Who knows. This just all feels like a complete waste of time.

It has to be out there. It really just has to be. But I have no idea where to look.

Some whore who had an affair with some overpaid scumbag has a blog. She’s published now and photographed and in high demand. What the fuck? See where having morals will get you?


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